autism with jamie

Hello, this is Jamie Cramb back again with a another blog and this month is very special for people like me, as this is National Autism Awareness Month. Today, as I am writing this on the 2nd of April, it’s Autism Awareness Day, so to celebrate, I am going to be talking about my personal experiences on the spectrum, how I have dealt with it, and some of my personal traits. So, let’s begin.

So, first off, when I was diagnosed around the age of 6 with Asperger’s Syndrome and as I got older, I wanted to explore more about it and came across the stop motion film Mary and Max . Max, a man in New York with Asperger's Syndrome becomes pen pals with Mary, a girl all the way in Australia. There’s a scene later on in the movie where Max talks about having Asperger’s Syndrome, or as he likes to call it, Aspie, what it’s like and his traits. I will now list them here and put in some of my own. Before I begin, I have no doubt in my mind that Max is the legit most relatable character for me on his traits alone.

1.      We are very logical and literal. In the movie, when Max explains the traits, he goes to the dentist. There is a sign that says “take a seat”, and the normal person would just sit down, but in Max’s point of view, he logically thinks to take the seat with him. BTW, I have never done that at a checkup, that’s just what Max thinks.

2.      Struggling with facial expressions now this is something I kind of struggled with when I was younger and when my mum was reading something and reacted to what happened in it, and I said what’s the matter, not knowing what she was doing. I loved Thomas and Friends, the model train version, when I was little and it is very popular with people on the spectrum for the characters expressions and the narrator telling what they are feeling. I just watched some of the old episodes just recently, and they still hold up and also just for memes’ sake they’re so funny.

3.      I really don’t like loud noise, to quote Steve Carell’s character in the Anchorman, LOOOUUUDDD NOISESSSSS!  which means I jump very easily and have sensitive ears, and there are a few times I have held my ears due to how loud some things are. I can recall one story when I was in high school for example, when Charlie (on of my friends) back in the day was at the back of me when we were going to drama and close but not that close was talking to me almost strait into my ear. He didn’t mean it, but it felt so loud and I had to close my ears with my hands. It was like he had a microphone attached to him.

4.      Here is one of the traits Max doesn’t say in the movie but I will say it here, and that’s a lack of personal space for others. Now, I know some people on the spectrum don’t like being touched, but for me, I have no problem with it. However, there are sometimes I am not aware of people’s personal space and boundaries, like standing too close or maybe hugging them when they don’t want to.

5.      The thing a lot of autistic people love is STIMMING! Like making noise, fidget toys, and body movements galore, one of the things about stimming the noise you makes you help and cope with anxiety, so when I feel like I need to stim I crack my fingers makes a satisfying sound in my opinion, and fidget toys are just the best I had an  Christmas advent calendar of fidget toys once, and noise in our own way makes us feel a little bit better about what kind of situation we are in. One other stimming one I do running and jumping, which I am trying to get hold of, especially now that I am now 20 years old and is quite loud and can be irritating for others, but there are times I get carried away and forget all that. I use the word excited more than stimming when trying to explain because that word is way simpler for me to describe it as.

6.      And this is the one where I have been struggling with as of late but it’s talking to myself, ever since I could remember I just talked about what I was feeling or a story I have in my mind, and mostly, I just talk to myself. My mum thinks this is quite concerning as it make me look a bit nuts, but it actually helps me more. For example, it reduces anxiety, memory aid, a tool to renumber information, scripting, and verbal stimming, so it has its uses, but I try to do it in private as much as I can.

7.      Anxiety………..Anxiety is just the worst, like whenever, for example, have to do something new, or give out personal information or something like those I just go into a panic, and it’s not great. I am somewhat better at it and always relieved when it’s done, but it always stresses me out.

8.      Really bad hand writing. I am no good at hand writing on a piece of paper and in fact when I was in primary school the teacher or the SLA would write my sentence on white board pad and I would copy it down to help me more in writing what I wanted to say. I way prefer writing on the iPad or Chromebook or any device I am on, but when I have to write on paper, I kind of still struggle with how my hand can get a bit sore after a while and when I do make a spelling mistake, I sigh in annoyance.

9.      I am very clumsy and sometimes act silly, but that’s a part of my character that will always be a part of who I am.

10.  Finally, I struggle with emotions now that includes missing social cues, shutdowns, and  I have also been trying to improve my social skills, which include talking to people more, taking part in activities, while sometimes I zone out, but I always try to get back into it.

After talking about what it’s like on the autistic spectrum and my traits of it are, I know some people on the spectrum are way different from mine, like way waaay different. I really loved the idea of exploring more about myself, and I feel like I did just that. I have a whole bunch of people that care for me, family,  friends, colleagues, and I couldn’t be any happier. I have accomplished so much already just recently been nominated for a award for Volunteering for Dementia Friendly Dunblane, I have this internship here at Creative Stirling I have been doing for a while now that I love doing and very thankful for, and there will be more achievements like this in the future. To quote Max himself, “I like being an Aspie”.

Thank you to everyone who is reading this blog. If you are autistic yourself, or you possibly have a friend or family member who is autistic, thanks for reading and happy autism awareness month!

-Jamie.